evening blog.

day's recap:

-woke up at 6:20 on the couch. amber found my phone in my car. set the alarm at 8:30 and slept in bed.

-woke up at 8:30. set alarm for 9:00

-woke up at 9, showered, and walked to work.

-worked 10-7. did very little at work. took an hour lunch and ate at the Chinese place across the street . i am always the only person in there, and the place is great. i can't remember the name though.

-came home, looked at the computer. started writing a blog.


i think i want to start recapping my days in some fashion, either on here or on paper. after 6 months or so, everything seems like a blur. and who knows, maybe some historian will look back on it and use it in a book. i remember reading the big book on Agawam's history, and they had excerpts from some guy's journal. imagine being that guy. of course I'm sure he didn't realize parts of his life would end up in a book. it was strange the way he wrote it. it was kind of like i did. it was all short phrases and just statements about his day. so i'm going to start doing that. probably.

a month from now, i write a blog entry....'so you know how i said i would write a lot?'

I'm funny like that, i seem to go through cycles. every month or so i seem to fall into a groove of doing something. i suppose as long as it's a positive thing, or at least non-life threatening thing and it makes me happy to do it, than it's a good thing.

i was thinking during work today that when you simply go by your instincts and say and do what ever is on your mind, it is you connecting to the universe. your impulses are created from the code behind the scenes, what the universe has in store for you. so i started kind of mumbling to myself for a while. i don't think anyone heard me. and then you think....'is that me deciding to mumble, or is it the instantaneous universal consciousness interception." or was i just mumbling while pushing a broom around the store, trying to look like i am actually trying to clean the floor.

these thoughts may or may not have some actual purpose, but it passes the time while being a porter.

I've been big on thinking about people just being bundles of cells, and the idea that there is no self, just cells, mitochondria, atoms; manipulating and being manipulated by themselves. i mean, i think i exist, but what actually is the I, the am-ness if you will? is it the universal oneness or is it nothingness? or are they both the same? and if they are both the same and nothing is either real or not real, then why do i worry about the problems of the world? is it because my brain is hardwired to do so, or is it a choice in free will? and if my thoughts, my compassion, my basis of existence IS just synapses firing in my brain, than is the entire concept of freewill bullshit?

if you know, just let me know. I'll be the one mumbling to myself.