early morning

it seems that you can be the most honest with yourself right when you wake up. some mornings i wake up feeling blissful, while other mornings i am terrified. Some ideas that i find to be amazing before i go to bed seem very distant and trivial in the morning. The changes can be surprising and unexpected.

i think that, save some horrific event that is unknown to me, i will live a long and fulfilling life. i think that human beings have a much larger ability to adapt for survival that we give ourselves credit for. we can be like cockroaches if we need to be. It is just harder for us to be because we have larger brains, which sometimes is a blessing and at other times can hinder our survival.

I keep having minor bursts of inspiration, like how a song should go, or lyrics that would be perfect for this or that, or entire new concepts that could be good for some type of use. I like these moments and would like them to continue. But they only occur if i do not concentrate on them; rather they skim over my conscious brain and land somewhere in between me knowing about it and it not existing.

priorities, priorites, etc. where to begin. mine alwayws seem to swing between that of a 6 year old at a candy store and a 90 year old buddhist monk. neither of which are very conducive to a decent standard of living. More like a terrible odd-couple-like sit-com. lots of hyphens there. yeah. though i do have some schemes up my sleeve. we'll see how those go.

So this is me, at ten minutes to 6, letting my fingers type and my mind unravel, somewhere between the blunt honesty of early morning and the mundane whitewash of everyday life creeping in. it's like medication. feels nice. just gotta wait for it to kick in. plus a coffee will help.