so its been a few weeks since i've written anything. that's ok. i've been busy.
i've been working a lot of hours. i've also been kind of writing a new album. half in my head, half on the acoustic. i think i might call it 'george'. i found a picture of my father riding a bicycle in vermont. i want to use it as the cover. but first i need to record the first cd. seven songs. i'm not entirely in love with 'them tyrants' right now. uhhhhh but if i don't come out with anything else, it'll work. it's not a terrible name.
i'm moving home in about 3 weeks. i have less than two weeks left for work in groton. my last day is may 22nd, and i start at the westfield big y on june 6th. i've got a while in between, and i hope i get to see some people inbetween. have some fun. maybe travel a bit. we'll see. first i need to start packing. which i have.
we need to get rid of stuff in our house. i'm working on getting rid of the 'dorado' tequilla left over from cinco de mayo. which if you ever feel like mixing margharitas and corona, don't
i have these dumb, or seemingly dumb ideas of how to make a lot of money. they could work, if i actually followed through with them. maybe. i have another one in mind for when i move home. i'm going to need a partner. i can't talk about it. i might jinx it.
yep. life is happening all the time. embrace it, and act like a child. terrible advice. i don't care though..
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
new ages; an end to false connections
don't ask about the title. i have a documentary about 2012 on in the background.
recap: i did a bunch of stuff. it's been a week, so i don't remember the specifics. i worked. we had a party at the apartment. there was a lot of beer pong. I've been working on a new song for about two weeks now. I'm trying to take my time with it. it shall be good. it's all finger-picking, which i enjoy doing.
it's hard for me to get from the essence that i feel inside and hear in my mind into physical space, of course via music but also in all of my different interactions with the outside world. i feel that the simpler i live my life, and the more humble, the closer i get to that inner understanding. i guess that i can hear it better because there is less noise in my life. I'm just trying to tread lightly and give myself time to stop and smell the roses.
recap: i did a bunch of stuff. it's been a week, so i don't remember the specifics. i worked. we had a party at the apartment. there was a lot of beer pong. I've been working on a new song for about two weeks now. I'm trying to take my time with it. it shall be good. it's all finger-picking, which i enjoy doing.
it's hard for me to get from the essence that i feel inside and hear in my mind into physical space, of course via music but also in all of my different interactions with the outside world. i feel that the simpler i live my life, and the more humble, the closer i get to that inner understanding. i guess that i can hear it better because there is less noise in my life. I'm just trying to tread lightly and give myself time to stop and smell the roses.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
beautiful weather
recap:
Friday- worked until 7, then went to see Hoobastank at Mohegan sun with amber, Brittany, and a few others.
Saturday- sat on the computer all day, worked from 4-10. went to bed soon after i think
Sunday- worked 7-12. actually woke up at 7:12, due to the alarm not going off. got to work for 7:22. Worked at the self-check out. had a coffee and bagel for breakfast. went from there, dropped amber off at work and went to practice, where one of tim's friends was filming a mini-documentary for us. did interviews and silly things for the camera. afterward hung out with mark for the first time in a while. chatted and then had dinner with his family. didn't feel well so went home by about 10:30.
Monday- worked 1-7. did my taxes. somehow i owe money. hopefully that gets fixed. found out amber's great grandmother passed away. made dinner, went to bed.
today- just woke up. writing blog.
i'm noit sure if i've wrote about this before, but different seasons my me nostalgic for different points in my life. Fall alwys makes me nostalgic for high school time. Going on band competitions in the crisp air, playing at the football games, being over-dramatic, being a silly rebellious kid.
Winter up until the holidays reminds me of when i was very little, probably around 4 or 5. the way in which the house looked at night with thanksgiving decorations or with Christmas lights. making popcorn and watching star trek TNG on a cold Sunday afternoon in front of the fireplace (though surprisingly, we only used the fireplace a few times. those few times are the moments i remember pretty vividly.)
And right about this time through the summer I'm in the mindset of myself around 1993-1994. riding bikes with nick and Greg down the street, before there was a street finished at the end our road. Building jumps that i could never really get the hang of, and subsequently fall all of the time.
Around this time we would be waiting for the arrival of the illusive Jay. Jay lived with his grandmother who lived next door to us, but he was only there during the summer. There wasn't the type of communication t3exhnology that there is now, so when he left, it was always rather sad, but it was understood that he would probably back. he had a BMX bike too, and he lived in Arizona. better at all of the jumps and stuff than we were. Always had tall tales, that to me nowadays were obviously ridiculous, but t the time seemed as valid as the air.
My nostalgic thoughts are shared with those of hanging out with friends ad also my alone time and time with family. I used to go to east coast marketplace with my mom(it's like an ocean state), and they would have these very odd computer games that would come in a set of four in one package. The games came on 5 1/4 floppy. I think they were about a dollar. And these i would bring home and play. They were the oddest games too. Some were text-based, while had crude graphics. It was a mystery where they came from, and they were very personal to me and my uncle Al and cousin Shannon. no one else had ever heard of them.
I guess the thing that i miss is the simplicity. Granted, it wasn't the 1920s or anything, but technology hadn't evolved to the point where you can get connected to anyone within an instant. We had land lines in our house, few people used the internet for communication yet, and you still got letters from your relatives far away. Though our communication technology was a bit more primitive, i personally feel that i had better social skills when the only way to make friends was to ride your bike around aimlessly until you see a kid that is doing the same thing. I guess you could say there was more mystery. Life was mythical. Rumors held their weight. No one knew the exact truth. Now you can find exact information on everything without having to talk to anyone. And I, a lot of times, take the path of least resistance.
And that is why, I've decided to give it up. I don't know for how long, but I'm not going to use the internet to communicate. People can call me or we can see each other in person. i think that it's enough. I need to get closer to the ground. Back on the surface. I'm living too much in my head, and in 1s and 0s, and less in reality. With the exception of my blog and the cell phone, I'm gonna take myself back to 1993.
see you there.
Friday- worked until 7, then went to see Hoobastank at Mohegan sun with amber, Brittany, and a few others.
Saturday- sat on the computer all day, worked from 4-10. went to bed soon after i think
Sunday- worked 7-12. actually woke up at 7:12, due to the alarm not going off. got to work for 7:22. Worked at the self-check out. had a coffee and bagel for breakfast. went from there, dropped amber off at work and went to practice, where one of tim's friends was filming a mini-documentary for us. did interviews and silly things for the camera. afterward hung out with mark for the first time in a while. chatted and then had dinner with his family. didn't feel well so went home by about 10:30.
Monday- worked 1-7. did my taxes. somehow i owe money. hopefully that gets fixed. found out amber's great grandmother passed away. made dinner, went to bed.
today- just woke up. writing blog.
i'm noit sure if i've wrote about this before, but different seasons my me nostalgic for different points in my life. Fall alwys makes me nostalgic for high school time. Going on band competitions in the crisp air, playing at the football games, being over-dramatic, being a silly rebellious kid.
Winter up until the holidays reminds me of when i was very little, probably around 4 or 5. the way in which the house looked at night with thanksgiving decorations or with Christmas lights. making popcorn and watching star trek TNG on a cold Sunday afternoon in front of the fireplace (though surprisingly, we only used the fireplace a few times. those few times are the moments i remember pretty vividly.)
And right about this time through the summer I'm in the mindset of myself around 1993-1994. riding bikes with nick and Greg down the street, before there was a street finished at the end our road. Building jumps that i could never really get the hang of, and subsequently fall all of the time.
Around this time we would be waiting for the arrival of the illusive Jay. Jay lived with his grandmother who lived next door to us, but he was only there during the summer. There wasn't the type of communication t3exhnology that there is now, so when he left, it was always rather sad, but it was understood that he would probably back. he had a BMX bike too, and he lived in Arizona. better at all of the jumps and stuff than we were. Always had tall tales, that to me nowadays were obviously ridiculous, but t the time seemed as valid as the air.
My nostalgic thoughts are shared with those of hanging out with friends ad also my alone time and time with family. I used to go to east coast marketplace with my mom(it's like an ocean state), and they would have these very odd computer games that would come in a set of four in one package. The games came on 5 1/4 floppy. I think they were about a dollar. And these i would bring home and play. They were the oddest games too. Some were text-based, while had crude graphics. It was a mystery where they came from, and they were very personal to me and my uncle Al and cousin Shannon. no one else had ever heard of them.
I guess the thing that i miss is the simplicity. Granted, it wasn't the 1920s or anything, but technology hadn't evolved to the point where you can get connected to anyone within an instant. We had land lines in our house, few people used the internet for communication yet, and you still got letters from your relatives far away. Though our communication technology was a bit more primitive, i personally feel that i had better social skills when the only way to make friends was to ride your bike around aimlessly until you see a kid that is doing the same thing. I guess you could say there was more mystery. Life was mythical. Rumors held their weight. No one knew the exact truth. Now you can find exact information on everything without having to talk to anyone. And I, a lot of times, take the path of least resistance.
And that is why, I've decided to give it up. I don't know for how long, but I'm not going to use the internet to communicate. People can call me or we can see each other in person. i think that it's enough. I need to get closer to the ground. Back on the surface. I'm living too much in my head, and in 1s and 0s, and less in reality. With the exception of my blog and the cell phone, I'm gonna take myself back to 1993.
see you there.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
evening blog.
day's recap:
-woke up at 6:20 on the couch. amber found my phone in my car. set the alarm at 8:30 and slept in bed.
-woke up at 8:30. set alarm for 9:00
-woke up at 9, showered, and walked to work.
-worked 10-7. did very little at work. took an hour lunch and ate at the Chinese place across the street . i am always the only person in there, and the place is great. i can't remember the name though.
-came home, looked at the computer. started writing a blog.
i think i want to start recapping my days in some fashion, either on here or on paper. after 6 months or so, everything seems like a blur. and who knows, maybe some historian will look back on it and use it in a book. i remember reading the big book on Agawam's history, and they had excerpts from some guy's journal. imagine being that guy. of course I'm sure he didn't realize parts of his life would end up in a book. it was strange the way he wrote it. it was kind of like i did. it was all short phrases and just statements about his day. so i'm going to start doing that. probably.
a month from now, i write a blog entry....'so you know how i said i would write a lot?'
I'm funny like that, i seem to go through cycles. every month or so i seem to fall into a groove of doing something. i suppose as long as it's a positive thing, or at least non-life threatening thing and it makes me happy to do it, than it's a good thing.
i was thinking during work today that when you simply go by your instincts and say and do what ever is on your mind, it is you connecting to the universe. your impulses are created from the code behind the scenes, what the universe has in store for you. so i started kind of mumbling to myself for a while. i don't think anyone heard me. and then you think....'is that me deciding to mumble, or is it the instantaneous universal consciousness interception." or was i just mumbling while pushing a broom around the store, trying to look like i am actually trying to clean the floor.
these thoughts may or may not have some actual purpose, but it passes the time while being a porter.
I've been big on thinking about people just being bundles of cells, and the idea that there is no self, just cells, mitochondria, atoms; manipulating and being manipulated by themselves. i mean, i think i exist, but what actually is the I, the am-ness if you will? is it the universal oneness or is it nothingness? or are they both the same? and if they are both the same and nothing is either real or not real, then why do i worry about the problems of the world? is it because my brain is hardwired to do so, or is it a choice in free will? and if my thoughts, my compassion, my basis of existence IS just synapses firing in my brain, than is the entire concept of freewill bullshit?
if you know, just let me know. I'll be the one mumbling to myself.
-woke up at 6:20 on the couch. amber found my phone in my car. set the alarm at 8:30 and slept in bed.
-woke up at 8:30. set alarm for 9:00
-woke up at 9, showered, and walked to work.
-worked 10-7. did very little at work. took an hour lunch and ate at the Chinese place across the street . i am always the only person in there, and the place is great. i can't remember the name though.
-came home, looked at the computer. started writing a blog.
i think i want to start recapping my days in some fashion, either on here or on paper. after 6 months or so, everything seems like a blur. and who knows, maybe some historian will look back on it and use it in a book. i remember reading the big book on Agawam's history, and they had excerpts from some guy's journal. imagine being that guy. of course I'm sure he didn't realize parts of his life would end up in a book. it was strange the way he wrote it. it was kind of like i did. it was all short phrases and just statements about his day. so i'm going to start doing that. probably.
a month from now, i write a blog entry....'so you know how i said i would write a lot?'
I'm funny like that, i seem to go through cycles. every month or so i seem to fall into a groove of doing something. i suppose as long as it's a positive thing, or at least non-life threatening thing and it makes me happy to do it, than it's a good thing.
i was thinking during work today that when you simply go by your instincts and say and do what ever is on your mind, it is you connecting to the universe. your impulses are created from the code behind the scenes, what the universe has in store for you. so i started kind of mumbling to myself for a while. i don't think anyone heard me. and then you think....'is that me deciding to mumble, or is it the instantaneous universal consciousness interception." or was i just mumbling while pushing a broom around the store, trying to look like i am actually trying to clean the floor.
these thoughts may or may not have some actual purpose, but it passes the time while being a porter.
I've been big on thinking about people just being bundles of cells, and the idea that there is no self, just cells, mitochondria, atoms; manipulating and being manipulated by themselves. i mean, i think i exist, but what actually is the I, the am-ness if you will? is it the universal oneness or is it nothingness? or are they both the same? and if they are both the same and nothing is either real or not real, then why do i worry about the problems of the world? is it because my brain is hardwired to do so, or is it a choice in free will? and if my thoughts, my compassion, my basis of existence IS just synapses firing in my brain, than is the entire concept of freewill bullshit?
if you know, just let me know. I'll be the one mumbling to myself.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
early morning
it seems that you can be the most honest with yourself right when you wake up. some mornings i wake up feeling blissful, while other mornings i am terrified. Some ideas that i find to be amazing before i go to bed seem very distant and trivial in the morning. The changes can be surprising and unexpected.
i think that, save some horrific event that is unknown to me, i will live a long and fulfilling life. i think that human beings have a much larger ability to adapt for survival that we give ourselves credit for. we can be like cockroaches if we need to be. It is just harder for us to be because we have larger brains, which sometimes is a blessing and at other times can hinder our survival.
I keep having minor bursts of inspiration, like how a song should go, or lyrics that would be perfect for this or that, or entire new concepts that could be good for some type of use. I like these moments and would like them to continue. But they only occur if i do not concentrate on them; rather they skim over my conscious brain and land somewhere in between me knowing about it and it not existing.
priorities, priorites, etc. where to begin. mine alwayws seem to swing between that of a 6 year old at a candy store and a 90 year old buddhist monk. neither of which are very conducive to a decent standard of living. More like a terrible odd-couple-like sit-com. lots of hyphens there. yeah. though i do have some schemes up my sleeve. we'll see how those go.
So this is me, at ten minutes to 6, letting my fingers type and my mind unravel, somewhere between the blunt honesty of early morning and the mundane whitewash of everyday life creeping in. it's like medication. feels nice. just gotta wait for it to kick in. plus a coffee will help.
i think that, save some horrific event that is unknown to me, i will live a long and fulfilling life. i think that human beings have a much larger ability to adapt for survival that we give ourselves credit for. we can be like cockroaches if we need to be. It is just harder for us to be because we have larger brains, which sometimes is a blessing and at other times can hinder our survival.
I keep having minor bursts of inspiration, like how a song should go, or lyrics that would be perfect for this or that, or entire new concepts that could be good for some type of use. I like these moments and would like them to continue. But they only occur if i do not concentrate on them; rather they skim over my conscious brain and land somewhere in between me knowing about it and it not existing.
priorities, priorites, etc. where to begin. mine alwayws seem to swing between that of a 6 year old at a candy store and a 90 year old buddhist monk. neither of which are very conducive to a decent standard of living. More like a terrible odd-couple-like sit-com. lots of hyphens there. yeah. though i do have some schemes up my sleeve. we'll see how those go.
So this is me, at ten minutes to 6, letting my fingers type and my mind unravel, somewhere between the blunt honesty of early morning and the mundane whitewash of everyday life creeping in. it's like medication. feels nice. just gotta wait for it to kick in. plus a coffee will help.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
life happens.
So i've been going to the gym. that's a good thing. i started just over a week ago. i was getting too heavy. I've lost a bit of weight. i just have to keep it up.
I'm in one of my new agey spiritual phases. those ones are pleasant.
I've been working almost full time hours at work, and have been paying my credit card off. nice.
I'm moving back to western mass with amber. I'm gonna find a job and work on finishing an album by the end other summer. I'm pretty happy.
Things are good.
As soon as spring gets here, i'll be even better.
I'm in one of my new agey spiritual phases. those ones are pleasant.
I've been working almost full time hours at work, and have been paying my credit card off. nice.
I'm moving back to western mass with amber. I'm gonna find a job and work on finishing an album by the end other summer. I'm pretty happy.
Things are good.
As soon as spring gets here, i'll be even better.
Friday, February 5, 2010
the zen of george carlin.
The man had given up hope on society. That just leaves a liberated individual.
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