Isolato

I have a lot of secrets. It is what i would call a character flaw.

I've heard that a true test of someone's integrity is how someone acts and what they choose to spend their time doing by themselves. If so, it would be conservative to say that my integrity is lacking.

I've never been able to just be myself around people i don't know too well. I guess i learned how to act around other people over the years. I still have a lot of trouble with social cues. So much so that i wonder is there is some underlying psychological reasoning. Sometimes i know i'm boring someone and i can't stop talking. I do this to Amber a lot.

At this point in my life, to completely be honest about my feelings and about different aspects of my life would destroy me. I probably wouldn't survive.

Society is based in whitewashing yourself. No one wants to hear anything about your bullshit problems. When thy ask you how are you, they don't want an answer. And to be honest with most people i usually want to as well. I'm shut off, and i feel like it's starting to affect my well being.


Maybe i would rather be a liberated pariah than a isolated smiling man.